Something frightens everyone… yes it’s true even if you’re not willing to admit it. People share their fear of heights, spiders or snakes, but how often will someone share their real fear, the fear that holds them back?
As a society we’re taught to not burden others with what really bothers us, what keeps us awake at night, what truly holds us back. We’re taught to only talk about the good in our life, what greatness He has blessed us with so that no one knows what weighs us down; after all, you wouldn’t want people to hear you complain.
So many times I settle in to write and I find myself distracted, I’m always thinking of something else that needs my attention. At times I ask myself if I’ll find time to finish my novel, and then in turn ask myself why I’m not.
The other day as I was running between the numerous weekend activities I found myself writing in my head. I effortlessly pieced together the next chapter of my novel, but yet the ideas that flowed in my mind never made it any further. As always, I told myself that if I had been in front of the computer or had my notebook with me then I would have penned this amazing chapter. Was I being truthful?
I pondered what holds me back from writing. My thoughts turned to the first story I wrote, I was a second grader. I wrote about an adventurous turtle complete with my artistic take on how this little turtle looked throughout the story. I tried to remember how the story formed or if I struggled with this second grade assignment; the only thing that came to mind was my teacher’s encouragement to continue writing, and so I have. Over time the variety of pieces I’ve written have benefited so many others. It’s always been easy to stand quietly in the background satisfied with how well my pieces turned out while others receive unearned accolades. And then I realized… I’m afraid to have this task SUCCEED!
Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve always had success at what I do; however, if I would truly complete my first novel and it finds it way into a publisher’s hand… LIFE CHANGING! Oh my, a frightening thought indeed.
1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.