Tag Archives: writing

Crossroads

Have you ever taken a step back and wondered where time has gone? Every year as one closes out and another begins there is always recaps of the years past, how many years ago something took place, and so on… I look back with the thoughts of what have I done?

It’s easy to trace my work history; no secret where I’ve been or what I’ve done with my career. My desk holds numerous years of paper planners, yes you read correctly, paper planners that not only hold my daily schedule but also each family member’s schedule. Coordinating multiple activities, meetings, obligations and commitments takes more than a quick glance of the calendar on my phone.

Today I ponder the question of what have I really done with my life? I’m not talking about the typical things such as college, family or work. I’m looking beyond that part; what is it I’ve really done. Hmmm…. that is the question that’s difficult to answer as I’m not sure if it’s about me and what I’ve always dreamed of doing, or is it about what I’ve done for others before myself.

Some people talk about the beginning of a new year and wanting a fresh start with a different company or even changing careers. Others say they’re going to focus more on themselves – changes to help move a person in the right direction?

I’ve always wanted to be a full time writer, someone who becomes the author everyone clamors to read; however, I’m continually pulled in a different direction. Maybe the fear of failure is too great or it’s easier to put this dream on hold to take care of my family, make sure I’m doing well at work, or commit myself elsewhere so I won’t fail.

Continually I encourage my children to follow their dreams. To put in the effort and time needed to get where they want to be, and yet I hold back without following my own advice. Maybe that’s where I fall, at the crossroads of time past and what’s ahead.

2 Chronicles 15:7 But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.

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It’s Ok

I haven’t written for awhile, not really sure why. Nothing bad has happened, nothing super amazing has happened, just the same day-in-day-out. Everyone goes through it, the hustle and bustle of family, work, activities, commitments, trying to keep up with everything at home while trying to feel good about myself. There are times it’s just chaotic!

I have been working on my book, not my first book but my other book, the piece that’s coming together nicely; the first book needs a lot of rework. It’s ok though, I’m good with letting it sit for awhile before tearing it apart to only make it better. My goal to write something everyday on my site thenextchapter.com has fallen by the wayside. I keep telling myself that it’s ok, if inspiration hits for my latest book then write… and write… and write!

I have found myself kind of blah about things, not overly enthusiastic but not negative either. Just going through the motions. I actually had a person tell me that I was negative just because I gave an honest answer. Hey, if you didn’t want to hear it then don’t tell me that you want my honest opinion. Oh, and they’re upset with me too because I disagreed with them, they’re trying to chop my head off. Oh my, I’m not always gong to agree with you nor you with me. It’d be an awful world if we all just said yes. It’s ok though, I did nothing wrong; they’re just upset that someone actually had guts to stand on their own.

I have been looking closely at the job boards again. Not that I’m leaving my current position anytime soon, heck who knows after disagreeing with a coworker, but I know that where I’m at now isn’t where I’ll be in the days to come. It’s ok though, my ultimate goal is to have my book published and that it’s a best seller. A book tour and promoting my work would be a dream come true, but in the meantime I’ll stay the course, continue my work and keep my out for the next opportunity.

I have been learning to say no. Really, it’s just something that I don’t like to tell people when they ask for my help. I get myself into scheduling crunches, deadline crunches, overload with personal commitment crunches… my work is always done, done well and I come through each and every time, but sometimes the stress is just too much to continue to handle. It’s ok though, I can say no and people don’t get mad, they just have to ask someone else.

James 1: 2-4: Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

 

What frightens you?

Something frightens everyone, yes it’s true even if you’re not willing to admit it. People share their fear of heights, spiders or snakes, but how often will someone share what really holds them back?

As a society we’re taught to not burden others with what really bothers us, what keeps us awake at night, what holds us back. From an early age we’re told to only talk about the good in our life, what greatness He has blessed us with so no one knows what weighs us down; after all, you wouldn’t want people to hear you complain.

So many times I settle in to write and find myself distracted, I’m always thinking of other things that need my attention. At times I ask myself if I’ll find time to finish my novel or write a piece that attracts a publisher’s attention. In turn, I’ll ask myself why I am I so afraid?

The other day as I was running between the numerous weekend activities I found myself writing in my head. I effortlessly pieced together the next chapter of my novel, but yet the ideas that flowed in my mind never made it any further. As always, I told myself that if I had been in front of the computer or had my notebook with me, then I would have penned this fantastic chapter. Was I being truthful with myself?

I’m always wondering what holds me back from writing. My thoughts turned to the first story I wrote, I was a second grader. I wrote about an adventurous turtle complete with my artistic take on how this little turtle looked throughout the story. I tried to remember how the tale formed or if I struggled with this second-grade assignment; the only thing that came to mind was my teacher’s encouragement to continue writing, and so I have.

I’ve written a variety of pieces over the years, each one has benefited so many others. It’s always been easy to stand quietly in the background satisfied with how well my work turned out while others receive unearned accolades. And then I realized… I’m afraid to have this task SUCCEED!

Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve always had success at what I do; however, if I would indeed complete my first novel or have a piece picked up by a publisher – LIFE CHANGING! Oh my, a frightening thought indeed.

1 Peter 5:7: Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.